Losing My Sanity

I’ve always heard it said that there are three major stressful events in life that beat out any other stressful events by a long shot – getting married, buying a house, and having children. You hear people say this and you repeat it to others as a random bit of trivia, but do you really ever stop to think about what it must feel like to go through any of these things? I never did. I just believed it and thought I’d be a real trooper if/when my time ever came around. I must say, now that I’m going through the home buying process, I can verify that at least one of those items is worthy of being among the Big Three. I just completely lost it about an hour ago. I had a moment of panic, called Mathew freaking out, cried a little, but in the end he talked me off the ledge of insanity. I found a place that I love, but won’t be able to get approved for a mortgage (let alone pay for it) without relying on rental income from the basement. Which means that I should realistically put in an offer that is conditional upon financing. But offering conditionally means I risk losing the place to someone who offers with no conditions. So I should go to the bank for firm approval, immediately. Enter stress. I have until Tuesday night at 7pm to make all the decisions I need to about this. Long story short, I need to do what feels right, I need to make the decision that will allow me to support a mortgage by myself, and not rely on others. I need to make sure that however I proceed, it is with no hesitations. I will be putting an offer on this place, but with a heavy heart, because I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get it. At least I will have tried. I’m going out tonight; I’m going to make sure I stop thinking about house buying for a few hours and just have fun…while I can still afford to.